New Year in the Fall

The afternoon we came home without her,

we rid ourselves of soiled beds

and cleaned the floors as we cried for what we lost.

At night,

we watched the TV show that started it all

    and I remembered what it was like

    to be someone with brighter eyes.

I spent a week becoming new,

the person that I wanted to be when I was little,

but never knew how to once I made it.

Two years ago, she was still here

    and we were fighting a lot.

Leaves fell for a winter that never ended,

and I daydreamed about a different kind of end,

only to wake in a cold sweat over what I'd lose.

The hurt in the corn maze

extended to hurt at home.

    I wanted it to be better.

    I wanted you to be better.

    I wanted us to be better.

This year, she is gone,

but we are also gone,

    as we have become new.