Beneath my Eyelids

All the time spent withering away, I've been remembering you

The two people beneath my eyelids

We were trapped in a sense of melancholy, and yet

I think we were laughing


There's too many things that hurt to remember

Swallowed up by endless days so mundane

Even with that picture of you inside my head

I want to meet you one more time


The me that exchanged words with you has been left behind

The future we were supposed to share slipped through my fingertips

I searched for the fragments of the days we lost, the traces of you

I'm still reaching for those two people under my eyelids


I drew a world around myself to hide the truth

Playing pretend to change the me that I didn't want to remember

I can't see myself, I can't see the way you were that day

Obscuring everything in blooming flowers and vibrant colors


Without knowing it, I locked the door to my own heart

In here, there's no pain that needs to be remembered

The bright blue sky burned the back of my eyelids

Trying to rebuilded the me that had hope for us


These feelings are mine alone, hidden from the real world

If I close my eyes, the you that I lost lives another day

But when I saw the sun again, I found my future trapped in a flowerbud

On this final day, I'll raise my pen


Your smile and the words you spoke can't be left behind now

I walk a path I've never walked before, abandoning all the papers in a home that cannot be home

If the two people beneath my eyelids could speak to me

I think they'd wish me the best

Notes: without knowing the actual English translation, this poem was vaguely inspired by the song Halzion by YOASOBI, applied to a short-story-turned-novella that will eventually become a series (yes, I have a problem). maladaptive daydreaming is, well, maladaptive, but just as it can take away your ability to live in the real world, it can allow you to return to it more whole than you left it.