Archive

Microblog

(8/14/25) WE ARE SO BACK!!!!!
(8/12/25) I'm considering either changing the couple drawings I have of myself on my website to accurately reflect my IRL appearance or representing myself as the Jigsaw puppet. either of them will work to lessen body dysmorphia, because the current one is my (unachievable) ideal self whereas my IRL self is the way I actually am and the Jigsaw puppet is like. clearly not what I want to look like
(8/11/25) I really want an audio player on my website but the audio tag doesn't work in some chrome browsers and I am afraid of trying to use Javascript because I know I can't just copy and paste someone else's code without something fuckin breaking, I have to make it work with the rest of the script and that SUCKS
(8/11/25) my hungry ass could never lubricate train machinery with beef tallow
(8/10/25) just realized that I don't have to know absolutely everything about the beliefs within a political identity to refer to myself with the label. my anxiety be like "oh you think that there shouldn't be a State? explain how a Stateless society would function in detail or else you're stupid and should feel bad"
(8/4/25) cishet couple that has a scrapbook of all their low points in their living room
(7/28/25) went on vacation and remembered how to be my normal self in front of strangers. so much of the big text I write on this website is semi-formal and it makes working on it kind of taxing. I'm letting go of the idea that this will be a writing website, I'll definitely talk about my writing when it's up but as a published author I would have to have a more professional website anyway soooo LETS GO CRAZY GO STUPID. a bunch of pages are gonna go down shortly and this is why, when I need to make a chance this big I don't want the pages left up as I work on it one at a time
(7/17/25) sometimes my theme switcher fails to put a theme into the URL slot and breaks everything, and I don't even know why? it fixes itself with a normal refresh. sometimes the website also just gives me a "this site can't be reached" error before quickly fixing itself. I have seen this error on other neocities sites so I think it's more about the web host than anything in our codes, there's a good chance its the same with the theme switcher. hm.
(7/15/25) last night I looked up common transmasc names for research purposes and many of the people who google this do it because they don't want to pick a common name so I of course found content tailored to this mindset and uhhhhh it is insane to me that there are people out here like "you're smart for not wanting to choose the cliche transmasc names because everyone who does that is a cringe SJW" and the names to avoid they list are like, 2 common gender neutral names and then a bunch of masculine names that have been on the SSA's top 10 baby name list for 40+ years
(7/14/25) I got through about 11 characters for artfight before I lost steam. I was kinda hoping that I could do one character a day until the end of the month (excluding the week where I'm away from my computer), but I don't feel too bad about not getting as much done as I hoped, because drawing so frequently reminded me how to not worry about everything being perfect and stop crashing when it isn't. I have the energy to work on website assets again, so some of the placeholder graphics can go away soon (like the ID pictures on the VIPs page)
(7/14/25) every so often I wake up in a cold sweat over the fear that I've written something too cringe here to be accepted even by people who agree that you should be cringe if it's authentic and makes you happy
(7/13/25) I FOUND THE WEBKINZ DIAMOND??? THE RAREST GEM IN THE GAME??????
(7/12/25) I feel weird when people praise me for doing mentorship or being a prison penpal. they always frame it like I'm doing an act of charity, but I never feel that way? I'm still on the waiting list for a mentee but my penpals are my friends first and foremost, with the primary difference from my other friendships being a power dynamic that I have to be aware of. my history is involves instutionalization as well, I don't do this because I pity anyone.
(7/12/25) not me mixing up "they're" and "there" on the VIPs page,
(7/10/25) sometimes I want someone to study me because my brain does some crazy shit to adapt to problems. I've been unable to do basic addition without counting on my fingers or using a calculator for years and when it got to the point where my task was taking 10x longer than it should've because of it, my brain just fixed it. HUH??
(7/10/25) webkinz is held together with shoelaces and chewing gum I s2g. WHY AREN'T THE ROOMS CENTERED ON THE SCREEN WHY IS IT DIFFERENT EVERY TIME
(7/10/25) also I remembered how to do basic addition in my head so that's cool. turns out my only math disability really was just slow processing speed and my bio mom's torturous methods around making me do homework just convinced me that I was bad at math and couldn't rely on my brain to do it
(7/10/25) welp. I spent probably four hours working an HTML/CSS only slideshow, an hour of which was just doing arithmetic sequences wrong, and when it still looked like shit, I ended up just doing a marquee like I originally thought of. I won't say it was all time wasted though bc I grasped how to make it not break main by messing with the transformX percentages in the keyframe scroll instead of adding max-content to the width of the marquee like substack suggested (?? baffling decision)
(7/8/25) a guy in a home repair vehicle (idk what, I didn't look) asked me my number yesterday and I'm still chewin on it. it was gender affirming I suppose, because there's no way he saw me as the gender I don't want to be seen as by cis people... but now I'm second-guessing whether it was because he thought I was a gay guy or simply trans :/
(7/8/25) turns out I fucken hate keeping a log of how I updated the site so now this is a microblog. enjoy my weird, often contextless musings going forward

Site Updates

at one point, the microblog was a site update tracker. then I realized that slowing down to mark what work I did made me not want to work on my website, so I got rid of it c: these are all the updates that I saved.

(7/7/25) added new website to cool websites page, added more adopted foods to toybox page, updated friends links, added new food adoptables to adoptables page.
(7/2/25) updated pets page with section about Princess.
(6/25/25) updated VIPs page with Jasper's section and tweaks to others.
(6/24/25) updated VIPs page with Cloud's section.
(6/17/25) added more food adoptables to toybox and started adding new custom div boxes.
(6/17/25) created toybox page and finished one custom div box for food adopts.
(6/14/25) created dividers for all themes, updated adoptables page, added buttons to bottom of homepage, and added archive page.
(6/13/25) added cool websites page, updated adoptables page formatting, and started adding favicon to pages.
(6/9/25) completed menu asset on adoptables page for all themes and added 2 new adoptables.
(5/31/25) updated VIPs page, uploaded new art.
(5/19/25) created adoptables page.
(5/17/25) added more blinkies/stamps to longer about and non-art freeware I recommend to link page.
(5/15/25) blurred thumbnails of art with content warnings.
(5/7/25) updated VIPs page.
(5/6/25) updated index and added content warnings to some pages.
(4/30/25) added hover text to "my friends" buttons. re-added longer about.
(4/24/25) cleanup of several pages. created VIPs page.
(4/22/25) added two new poems.
(4/17/25) properly adapted pets page to mobile.
(4/15/25) finished favorites page and longer about page. created pets page.
(4/8/25) reviwed all art pages for typos and/or grammar mistakes.
(1/30/25) finished Lucky Claw. added two new poems.
(1/7/25) created functional page for Lucky Claw.
(earlier) I didn't think to archive updates until 2025! just know that I worked a lot on this site before then, I swear ;w;